


[Fic + Podfic] Patient: 3615-3265, Date of Visit: 02/09/2005

by BrandonStrayne



Series: Eros Department [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Facebook: The Pen15 is Mightier, Infertility, Medical, Original Character(s), Podfic, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Available, Podfic Length: 10-20 Minutes, Semi-Public Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-24 13:27:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20706752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrandonStrayne/pseuds/BrandonStrayne
Summary: Written for the Pen15 is Mightier 2019 Gift Exchange. I really hope you like it,the_crown_jules! :DMuch thanks to my palsOllieMaye,Drarryismymuse, andKeep_Calm_and_Expecto_Patronumfor the beta.





	1. Fic

**Author's Note:**

  * For [the_crown_jules](https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_crown_jules/gifts).

> Written for the Pen15 is Mightier 2019 Gift Exchange. I really hope you like it, [the_crown_jules](https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_crown_jules)! :D
> 
> Much thanks to my pals [OllieMaye](https://archiveofourown.org/users/olliemaye), [Drarryismymuse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hatchersn/pseuds/Drarryismymuse), and [Keep_Calm_and_Expecto_Patronum](https://archiveofourown.org/users/keep_calm_and_expecto_patronum) for the beta.

Ron eyed Hermione’s bouncing knee warily, wondering whether it would be a reassuring gesture for him to reach over and rest his hand on her thigh, or whether it would trigger an unseen landmine that would result in him losing the appendage entirely.

Despite being married for almost three years now, Ron still found his wife to be a perplexing creature sometimes; if he thought she would zig, she was just as likely to zag. And when she was feeling nervous and uncertain, that only made her all the more unpredictable.

He decided to risk it. Reaching over, he placed one of his large hands on her thigh and the bouncing came to a staggering halt. He held his breath as Hermione turned towards him, lower lip pulled between her teeth in a nervous gesture that she didn’t seem aware of. He breathed a sigh of relief when she forced a tremulous smile onto her face for him.

“I’m sure everything is fine, luv,” he tried to reassure her. “We haven’t been trying for that long, really.”

Hermione dropped her hands to her lap and took his hand in hers, the long, graceful fingers wrapping around his own bony ones and squeezing them tightly. “It’s been _six months_, Ron! Six months of negative pregnancy tests.”

“I know. It’s probably the most failing marks you’ve ever gotten,” he joked feebly, earning him a scowl from Hermione.

Hermione tossed his arm back at him, letting it drop into his own lap as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. “That isn’t funny, Ronald.”

Ron sighed, wishing—not for the first time—that he had a more effective filter between his brain and his mouth. Reaching out, he rested his rejected hand on her shoulder. “I’m sorry, ‘Mione, I was only teasing, but it was a stupid thing for me to say.”

Hermione’s cold shoulder lasted a few moments longer before she cracked, her shoulders drooping forward and her hands dropping back down into her lap to begin fidgeting. “I know. I know you were kidding. I’m just a little on edge. But, for future reference, jokes about me failing a test are _never_ funny.”

Ron shot her a wry grin before leaning over and kissing her softly, lingering there and marvelling, as always, at the impossible softness of her lips and how _right_ it felt to be kissing her. Reluctantly, he pulled away and they sat there staring lovingly at each other, basking in the moment of reassurance during this stressful time.

“Besides,” Ron began, reaching up to brush Hermione’s riotous curls behind her ear, “those weren’t real tests anyway.”

Hermione’s brows drew together in confusion as she stared back at him. “What do you mean they weren’t ‘real tests’?”

Ron grinned at her and shrugged. “If you ask me, those were all just practice tests. You would never take a test without doing a few practice runs first, now would you?”

Ron felt about 10 metres tall when the stress and misery that had been painted all over his wife’s face since they’d woken up this morning dissolved away and a loud burst of laughter erupted out of her. He was proud that he could provide a moment of respite from her worries for her.

If he were honest, he had been starting to wonder if something might be wrong with one of them as well. His mum had always said that she got pregnant every time his dad winked at her, so when he and Hermione had decided that they were ready to have a baby, he had assumed that they would be shopping for onesies in no time at all. When test after test had come up negative, the repeating cycles of hope, desperation, and disappointment had begun to shake his confidence that they’d have a house full of sprogs in their future.

“I suppose you do have a point there,” Hermione agreed reluctantly. Ron pulled himself out of the dark spiral of his thoughts and plastered on a reassuring face for Hermione.

“Of course I do. I studied with you for six years, remember? I know all about your study habits.” Ron leaned over and brought his mouth to Hermione’s ear, the curls of her hair tickling the left side of his face. In a low, husky voice, he whispered, “But our ‘studying’ is _much_ more fun for these tests than it was back at Hogwarts.”

A sexy laugh emerged from Hermione and she tipped her head to the side, nuzzling them together. “I do enjoy all of the ‘studying’ we’ve been doing,” she agreed in a soft tone that was reserved exclusively for him which was infused with the many memories from their long history together and the depth of emotion they felt for each other.

“Everything will be okay, luv. I know it,” he promised, because sometimes love means having to tell comforting lies.

They pulled apart at the sound of the door opening behind them and they turned their heads in unison to follow the progress of the Healer as she swept into the room and circled around to take a seat behind the wooden desk across from them.

“Hello, Healer Bunastare. How are you? How did your daughter enjoy her first trip to Hogwarts on the train?” Hermione asked politely. The Healer gave her an impressed look.

“That’s very kind of you to remember, Ms Granger. Thank you for asking. Unfortunately, I don’t have any insight to be able to answer that question. Odette has always been very independent, so I may very well not hear from her until the Christmas holidays,” the woman lamented, shrugging and smiling thinly at Hermione.

“I remember my first day at Hogwarts. I was so excited to write and tell my parents everything that had happened that I fell asleep mid-letter and woke up with paper stuck to my face. I was late to breakfast that first morning because I had to scrub all the ink off my face.” Hermione chuckled at the memory and Ron reached over to clasp their hands together.

“I wish my Odette was that keen to keep me in the loop,” Healer Bunastare sighed before continuing. “But enough about me. Let’s discuss what you came in for today.”

“Oh, okay, well…” Hermione stammered as the Healer read through the form they’d filled in when they arrived. “We’ve been trying to get pregnant for six months now and haven’t had any luck at all, so we just wanted to come in and get checked out and make sure that there aren’t any problems. I brought all of our charts and everything.” Hermione reached into the small beaded handbag that she had first enhanced back when they were preparing to go on their Horcrux hunt and still used regularly. ‘I like to have everything I could possibly need at my fingertips’, she always said.

Hermione handed a collection of rolled parchments over to the doctor who took them and unrolled each before examining it. Not looking up, as she was still inspecting one of the parchments, the healer distractedly said, “Six months is still well within the average time it takes to conceive.”

Hermione reached up and scratched at the side of her nose before saying, “No, I know that. I know it can take six months to a year on average to become pregnant. I just…”

“You just wanted to put your mind at ease,” the Healer stated, looking up from the charts and giving first Hermione and then Ron a kind look, her eyes crinkling ever-so-slightly in the corners.

Hermione let out a deep sigh of relief at the Healer’s understanding. “I don’t want to waste your time, I just...I couldn’t stop _obsessing_ about it.”

The Healer shook her head slightly. “You’re not wasting my time. Don’t feel guilty about reaching out for help when you need it, even if it’s just to put to rest those pesky nagging nerves.” Ron and Hermione exchanged a relieved look with one another before turning back to the Healer.

“So...what do the tests say?” Ron asked nervously. Before they had been ushered into this office, they had been shown into two separate examination rooms and had been put through a battery of tests to try to root out anything that was interfering with their conception.

“I’ve reviewed all of your lab results and magical analyses and everything looks completely normal,” the Healer said. Ron breathed a sigh of relief. “There’s nothing physiologically wrong with either of you; you’re prime specimens of health.”

Hermione’s face had transformed, the doctor’s diagnosis washing away all of the fears she had been ruminating on for months. “Thank you so much, Healer Bunastare. You have no idea what a relief that is to hear!”

“I did notice something, however,” the Healer began. Flipping one of the Arithmancy charts that Hermione had brought that plotted the movement of the planets, Healer Bunastare pointed at one section of the parchment. “You’ve calculated here that there’s going to be a conjunction of Venus, Jupiter, and the moon today.”

“That’s right,” Hermione agreed. “We’ve both taken the rest of the day off work and we were going to head straight home after this to try again.”

“Merlin, Hermione. Why don’t you just hire out the front page of the Prophet to announce that we’re going to rush home to have sex,” Ron muttered, his face flaring up in the heat of embarrassment.

Healer Bunastare chuckled softly while Hermione clucked her tongue. “Oh seriously, Ron. It’s her job! She’s probably seen and heard far more explicit things than that,” Hermione tutted.

“She’s right you know. I’m rather dependent on the fact that people have sex. I have a mortgage to pay off.” To Ron’s surprise, the woman winked at him and he grinned sheepishly.

“Now, as I was saying, You calculated the conjunction, but you forgot to account for the time change.”

“What?!” Hermione squeaked, diving forward and plucking the chart out of the Healer’s hand and spreading it out before her on the desk. “Fuck!”

Ron darted a glance at the older woman, but she seemed unperturbed by Hermione’s expletive.

“You’re right! We’re going to be too late. It will take too long to get home. We’re going to miss the entire conjunction!” Hermione spun towards Ron with a distraught look of horror on her face and Ron rushed to arrange his own features in a look which, he hoped, mirrored back a similar amount of horror at missing this conjunction thing...whatever that was.

Ron’s mouth opened and closed a few times as he searched for the magic words that would help ease Hermione’s distress, but his mind remained stubbornly blank.

“I should be going now. I have a bevy of other patients to see.” Ron and Hermione turned to see the Healer push her chair back and stand up. “You two can take your time and see yourselves out when you’re ready to leave.”

A confused look swept over Ron’s face when the Healer winked before standing up and letting herself out of the room. He had turned to ask Hermione what in the hell that had been about, only to find Hermione beaming at him. He was having trouble keeping up with the whipping emotions.

“What are you waiting for?” Hermione snapped, pulling out her wand and casting consecutive Locking and Silencing Spells at the door.

“Ohhhhhhhh,” Ron said, drawing the word out as the penny finally dropped. “Oh!”

Hermione was already shimmying the wool fabric of her skirt up around her waist and Ron rushed to catch up, unbuckling the metal clasp of his belt and slipping his trousers and pants down his legs as Hermione slipped the thin, black scrap of lace down and off.

“I’ve always wanted to do this,” Ron said, grinning at Hermione for a second before pivoting and sweeping his hand across the top of the desk, sending the contents flying off the side and crashing to the floor.

“Ron!” Hermione cried, eyeing the huge mess with distress before swishing her wand at the scattered papers and bric-a-brac, reversing their path and resetting everything back to where it was originally.

“They do that all the time in those Muggle movies you show me. I wanted to try it!” Ron defended. “Besides, I thought we were going to...you know.” Ron’s eyebrows bounced up and down suggestively as he shifted his gaze between Hermione and the desk.

Hermione rolled her eyes, but a twitch of her lips betrayed her amusement. Smirking, she turned towards the chair that Ron had previously vacated and pointed her wand at it until, before his eyes, the simple office chair had been transfigured into a fainting couch with a slanted back. Slipping her wand back into its holder, Hermione placed her hands on his shoulders and swung him around until his back was to the chair before pushing him back and onto it.

“Shouldn’t we...I mean…” Ron asked as Hermione swung her leg over and squatted across his lap.

“Shouldn’t we what?” Hermione asked, her hand reaching down to hold his cock up beneath her as she positioned herself over him.

“You know…” Ron stammered, brain still rushing to catch up to what they were about to do in a semi-public Healer’s office. “Foreplay.”

Hermione leaned down and kissed him and he could feel her smile against him. “We don’t have much time if we’re going to catch the conjunction, so I just used a spell to get myself ready,” she said, pulling back.

“Oh, okay,” Ron said, slightly disappointed. Ron rather enjoyed performing oral on Hermione, loved feeling the scrape of her nails against his scalp as she ground herself against him.

Hermione gave him another lingering kiss, tracing the pad of her finger along the creased skin between his eyebrows, smoothing it out. “How about this: after we get home, we can spend as much time as you want on a little aftplay instead?” she proposed.

Recognising a good deal when he saw one, Ron nodded excitedly, pulling a warm trickle of laughter from Hermione before she lowered herself down and took him inside her.

Hermione rode him, steadily increasing the rhythmic swinging of her hips, a fine sheen of sweat forming on her milk chocolate skin, reflecting the light in the room and making her almost glow. Ron knew without a doubt that she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.

“Merlin!” Ron cried out as his ecstasy peaked and he started coming, rubbing his thumb over the swollen bulb of her clit until he felt the silky walls of her body spasm around him. They were both panting as Hermione wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her head against the crook of his neck. Ron wrapped his own around her, tracing them up and down the still-clothed stretch of her back.

“I know this is crazy, but I just have this feeling that we finally did it,” Hermione whispered, voice soft to protect the fragile hope.

Ron knew just what she meant. There was an intangible magic in this coupling that he’d never experienced before. He knew there was no way to know for sure this early, but somehow he just _knew_ that this time the pregnancy test was going to come back positive.

“I have a feeling you’re going to ace your next test, luv.”


	2. Podfic

### Download

Title | Length | Size | Format  
---|---|---|---  
[Patient: 3615-3265, Date of Visit: 02/09/2005](https://www.dropbox.com/s/9c0rmepawpci31b/BrandonStrayne%20-%20Eros%20Department%203.mp3?dl=0) | 13:05 | 8.8 MB | MP3


End file.
